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Just Say Yes!

by Tor Hyams

George W. Bush recently appointed a new head of the Drug Enforcement Administration and a new "Drug Czar." Republican Asa Hutchinson, who supports jailing individuals who post information pertaining to drugs on the Internet, was picked to head the DEA and John P. Walters, the U.S. Drug Czar, is a hard-liner who favors incarceration over treatment for drug offenders.

After hearing about these frightening developments, I started to wonder: Why is everyone so against drugs? Aren't there better things to be against? And how come it's always the same people who want to abolish drugs? You know the types; they usually fall into one of two categories. They're either Christian moral majority types or former drug addicts. Obviously, the latter is worse because not only are they adamant and righteous, but they're also extremely jealous people as well. The Christians just don't know any better, so you can't really blame them. Ironically, these same people bomb abortion clinics in the name of Christ, but that's a whole different story.

The point is there are much more important matters at hand than whether your teenager is smoking some reefer. How about war? Why is it okay to bomb thousands of innocent people, but popping some X is a offense punishable with jail time? Well, it's not okay, but we all accept it and, what's more, the government advocates it. How come we don't have a "Partnership" for a War Free World? Wouldn't that save a few more lives than the number of lives taken each year by drugs? Priorities, people. Wake the fuck up.

This is not to say that doing drugs is good. Far be it from me to advocate anything that can cause physical damage to us thinking and rational human beings, but shit, is it really so bad? After all, drugs in general are more damaging to the people who use them than to the people who don't.

Sure, some folks on drugs (especially alcohol) hurt others, but for the most part, users end up hunched over in their own vomit in some whacked-out junk daze. In other words, they kill themselves. Kinda cool, huh? Maybe that's our answer to war. Give the Iraqis a lifetime supply of smack so they will overdose on the shit. Yes, that should work. Hell, we already have methadone clinics. Just think how much cheaper it would be to supply drugs to our enemies than to deploy missiles at a million bucks a drop.

The worst part about the anti-drug brigade is that the goal is impossible. It can not happen. To realize a drug-free country, everyone would have to stop drinking. Yeah, right! Drinking is more American than baseball. It will never ever happen, ever. I guarantee it. And if, God forbid, alcohol was ever to die out, it would be replaced with something else. Of course, you'd also have to outlaw Prozac, Lipitor and a host of other prescription drugs.

The real problem these ignorant drug-free folks fail to see is that life is about addiction. Drugs are merely the symptom. We are addicted to everything; our jobs, our possessions, our money, our daily routines, everything. In fact, the worst drug of all is television, but somehow that's okay with everybody. Shit, all of you who are reading this right now are completely addicted to media. Maybe if the anti-druggers spent a little more time weaning people off television, we wouldn't have to get high so much. Maybe we'd even read a book or write a song. Maybe.

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